Shambhala Training

Last weekend, I attended the first level of The Sacred Path. This level is entitled "The Great Eastern Sun." I must say that I have been able to recognize the various changes that have taken place in me as I have journeyed through the various levels of Shambhala Training. Our teacher was Kunga Dawa, the first student that Trungpa Rinpoche taught mediation in the West. Kunga guided us gently and very wonderfully though an explanation of the Great Eastern Sun and through the practice associated with it.

One thing that I learned over the weekend was that, for me, sitting meditation is probably the best to do first. When I was called upon to Umdze we sat for twenty-five minutes and walked for five. I have found that it takes my mind twenty-five minutes sometimes to become focused and placed correctly in shamatha. This might not be the case with others, but it is for me. So, we did our usual meditation sessions with alternating walking and sitting. I was also one who set up for the speaker in one of the sessions and the one who lit the charcoal on the shrine. This was a new experience for me, but one that I loved to do as a service to the community and to the teacher.

There is a basic human wisdom that can help solve the worlds problems. I am not always sure that we want to let go of our neurosis long enough to find that wisdom. As I reflected some about my life, I realized that there were actually times in the past when I enjoyed my neurosis. I think I actually found ways to do things that supported it. It was a comfortable place to be because I was hidden from the real world and didn't have to deal with anything, because my neurotic habitual concepts already had it figured out. When I realized this, I remembered the Shambhala teaching about the cocoon.

One thing that seemed to "be driven home" to me this past weekend was how afraid I have allowed myself to become of space. Stepping out of the neurosis and into the world, living in the present moment, requires a lot of space. I remember in Level 4 how we started lifting our gaze outwardly and taking in more of what was really there. You would think that would be an easy practice. I built up a comfortable comfort zone that did not include being who I really am. Who I really am is not scary to me, but being who I am in the context of a larger space was a bit scary. I found that I loved to hid behind certain facades because that is what I thought would make me happy. However, it did not, and it has taken the Shambhala Training to make me realize that.

Viewing things as the are, instead of how I have always tried to "think" they were is refreshing. Sitting helps me break down those concepts that I love to place on everything. Just focusing on the breath and letting the thoughts go by, labeling them as thoughts and letting them go, is a wonderful practice. I think Shamatha is probably the basis to all meditation for me and it seems like I alway go back to the practice even if just for a few minutes. It helps me center and relax and focus.

Kunga said in last weekends training that "by developing luminosity there is no possibility of confusion or petty mind. Clarity and luminosity free us from conceptual overlay." The Dorje Drodul likened meditation to taming a horse. The horse kicks and kicks when you first try to tame him, but after awhile, with continued practice, he becomes tame. I have found that to be true of my meditation practice.